When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
