The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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