So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize