if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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