Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
