Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Damn victory sex feels great
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
