The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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