i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Your penis caused this!
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