You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
