but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
