Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
