We won't sleep together?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
