I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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