I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
