JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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