I skipped work to stalk him.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
