if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
