I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
did you just send me my own nude
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
