I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
