so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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