Is it because I queefed?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
