whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she told me i tasted like america
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
