Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
