it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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