he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
