I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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