Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
