Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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