I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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