I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize