cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
