I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
