if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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