You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
