Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
