come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
