his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I understand Curling. That high.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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