watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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