so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
