Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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