Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
