i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
