all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
