I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
