Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
