I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
