I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
