We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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