I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
