whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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